Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Intentional Repetition Breaks Childhood Unconscious Patterns

Intentional repetition is rare and valuable because most human actions are unconscious patterns from childhood. When you act with intention repeatedly, you break free from automatic reactions and create deliberate success patterns.

The Practical Neuroscience Behind Focusing on What You Want

There's value in focusing on what you want rather than what you don't want. While not being 'woo-woo,' the principle that mental focus influences outcomes has practical applications based on how the unconscious mind works.

Why Telling Yourself to Stop Reinforces the Behavior

When people repeatedly tell themselves to stop a behavior, their unconscious mind only hears the behavior itself, reinforcing it instead of eliminating it. The key is focusing on the positive alternative instead.

The FedEx Principle for Confirming Message Delivery

The FedEx principle means getting confirmation that your message was received and understood, just like FedEx requires a signature. Ask 'what did you hear me say?' and clarify until you get satisfactory sign-off.

Business Friendship Model — Four Steps From Attention to Action

The Business Friendship Model follows four steps: attention (getting them to pay attention), connection (finding commonality), commitment (making an emotional commitment), and action (acting on that commitment)

Reptilian Mammalian and Human Cortex — The Three Evolved Brains

Humans have three distinct brain systems that evolved sequentially: the reptilian brain for physical survival, the mammalian brain for emotions and bonding, and the human cortex for abstract thinking and logic.

Focus on the Positive Outcome, Even When Fear Drives You

Focus on the specific outcome you want to create, not what you want to avoid. Even if you're motivated by moving away from negative things, you must start with a clear picture of your desired positive outcome.

How High Achievers Use Internal Communication to Drive Results

High achievers develop the ability to make clear mental pictures of what they want to create and communicate clearly with themselves throughout the process, constantly encouraging and clarifying their vision.

Sharing Vulnerabilities Opens Channels for Deeper Trust

Sharing fears and vulnerabilities builds intimacy and trust. When you confide your authentic emotions, it opens channels for deeper communication and creates reciprocal sharing that strengthens relationships.

Three-Brain Model: Reptilian Mammalian Neocortex in Marketing

The human brain operates as three separate systems: the reptilian brain (survival), mammalian brain (emotions), and neocortex (logic), which constantly fight for control and operate with different currencies

Second Position — Empathize Before Telling Your Story

When telling stories to clients, you must 'second position'—empathize and project into them to imagine what it's like to be them hearing your story, rather than just telling it the way you want to tell it

Familiar Thinking Is the Enemy of Creative Breakthrough

The enemy of creativity is exposing yourself to familiar thinking - the same people, conversations, news, TV, and internet activities that reinforce your existing unconscious values and thinking patterns

Six Business Outcomes That Depend on Communication Ability

Communication skill determines your ability to get attention, get ideas to others, teach, influence, sell, and market. It's a fundamental skill that supports all key success areas in business and life.

Humans Have Three Distinct Brains Stacked on Each Other

Humans have three distinct brains that evolved on top of each other: the primitive brain (brain stem/limbic system), the emotional brain (mammalian brain), and the logical brain (cortex/frontal lobes)

Bandler's Technique: Ask Them to Teach You How to Be Them

Richard Bandler's technique for understanding people involves asking them to 'teach me how to be you' - what do I need to think, how does that make me feel, what are the pictures, how does it all work

Unconscious Mind Hears the Action, Not the Negation

The unconscious mind can't process negative commands. When you tell yourself 'don't do this' or 'stop that,' your unconscious only hears the action you want to avoid, making you more likely to do it.

Roll Your Best Customers Into One Representative Avatar

The responsibility of communication belongs to the communicator - when someone doesn't understand your message, don't blame them as 'the dummy,' take responsibility for not communicating effectively

Parts Integration Merges Safety and Risk-Taking

Parts Integration is performed by visualizing the safety-seeking part in your left hand and the risk-taking part in your right hand, then merging them together and integrating them into your chest

Losing an Arm vs. Winning a Million — Why Loss Dominates

Negative outcomes can be exponentially worse than positive ones are good. For example, losing your arm is much worse than winning a million dollars, making the fear of loss a powerful motivator.

Opening Sales Calls with Questions Disarms Prospects

Start sales presentations by saying: 'If it's okay, I'd just like to ask you some questions and see if I can understand your situation'—this immediately disarms prospects and removes pressure.

Use 'You' and 'Your' as Your Most Frequent Teaching Words

Use 'you' and 'your' as your most frequent words instead of speaking to the group collectively. Each student is alone, so direct address creates connection while group language breaks rapport.

Six Brain Type Combinations Determine Natural Abilities

Everyone has a primary brain type, a secondary function, and a shadow or weakness, creating six possible combinations that determine optimal career paths and natural abilities.

The Original Meaning of Communication Was Sharing and Joining Together

The word 'communication' comes from old French meaning 'to share, to divide out, to impart, to join, to participate in' - it was originally about sharing and joining together.

Feedback Loops That Confirm Technique Is Working

Always provide feedback loops and calibration instructions so people know what to watch for to make sure their technique is working and what to watch out for to avoid mistakes

The Word Apple Is Not an Apple — Map vs Territory

Knowledge and communication aren't the real thing - there's a big difference between the word 'apple', the mental image of an apple, and actually biting into a real apple.

High Achievers Communicate Clearly With Themselves First

High achievers develop the ability to make clear mental pictures of what they want to create, then communicate clearly with themselves throughout the achievement process.

Know Whether You Move Toward Goals or Away From Fear

Understand your motivation type - whether you move toward success or away from failure, toward love or away from rejection, toward power or away from loss of significance

NLP Principle: Your Message Is the Response You Get

In neuro-linguistic programming, 'the meaning of a communication is the response that you get' - not what you think you said, but how the other person actually responds.

Conflicting Personality Parts Both Want to Keep You Safe

Both conflicting parts have positive intentions - they're both trying to keep you safe and growing, which allows them to work together as a team when properly integrated

Words as Currency — Some Worth $1, Others $100

Words function like currency - some are worth $1, others $100 in emotional value, with words like 'shark' triggering far more primal response than 'animal' or 'fish'

Away-From vs Toward Motivation — Which Drives You

People are motivated by both moving away from what they don't want and moving toward what they want, but most are more motivated by one or the other unconsciously

Mirror the Client's Exact Words to Reconnect Motivation

Use the client's exact words when reconnecting them to their motivation - if they say 'so my family can grow up comfortably,' use those precise words repeatedly

Speak Directly Using 'You' and 'Your' to Create Personal Connection

Avoid third-person collective language like 'greetings ladies and gentlemen' and instead speak directly using 'you' and 'your' to create personal connection.

The Unconscious Mind Cannot Process Negative Commands

The unconscious mind cannot process negative commands and only focuses on the core subject, making 'don't' statements counterproductive for goal achievement

NLP Go-First Principle — Enter the Emotional State First

In neuro-linguistic programming, 'you go first' - if you want your customer to be in a particular emotional state, you must enter that emotional state first

One-to-One vs Lecture Mode — How Brain Responses Differ

Communicating one-to-one with your avatar activates different emotions and brain responses compared to speaking to a large group in university lecture style

The Human Mind: Self-Designed and Resistant to Internal Change

The human mind is a self-designing, highly effective, hack-resistant system that's easy to manipulate from the outside but difficult to change from within

Use Repetitive Sounds to Make Names Impossible to Forget

Use repetitive sounds and rhythm patterns that make names bounce around in your brain's audio buffer system longer, like Coca-Cola, M&Ms, or BlackBerry.

The Phonological Loop Holds Sounds in Memory for Five Seconds

The phonological loop is an audio buffering system that holds sounds in electrical memory for about 5 seconds while the brain decides their importance

Loss Aversion Makes Fear Twice as Powerful as Desire

Humans will do twice as much to avoid losing something as they will to gain something — making fear and loss prevention twice as motivating as desire

Building a Customer Avatar From Your Ideal Buyer Traits

Emotions cannot be affected directly - they must be triggered through either mental imagery and sounds or through physical body movement and exercise

Most Communication Runs on Automatic — and It Shows

Most communication happens automatically outside conscious awareness, like memorized math facts, but these automatic systems are not very effective.

SPIN Selling Readback Creates Powerful Customer Connection

Using the SPIN Selling model - Situation, Problem, Implication, Need-payoff - creates powerful connection when you read back what prospects told you

Traditional Affirmations as Cognitive Dissonance Goal-Pulling

Traditional goal setting uses affirmations as if you've already achieved the goal to create cognitive dissonance that pulls you toward the outcome

Applying Parts Integration Whenever Inner Conflict Arises

The Parts Integration exercise can be applied whenever you notice inner conflict to align whatever conflicting parts are causing the misalignment

Intentional Repetition — The Rarest, Most Valuable Action

The rarest and most valuable form of action is intentional repetition, because most human actions are unconscious patterns laid down in childhood

NLP: Meaning Is the Response You Get, Not What You Said

In NLP, 'the meaning of a communication is the response that you get' - not what you think you said, but how the other person actually responds.

Planning Customer Relationship Timeline Over One Year

We don't have one personality but many personalities - each of us contains multiple 'selves' that take turns being in control throughout the day

They Must See It in Their Mind Before Doing It in Reality

People will only do something in the real world that they've first seen themselves doing in their minds - get them to imagine the future outcome

Visualization Technique Interrupts Distraction at Trigger Point

Create a new response pathway by visualizing yourself stopping at the trigger point, taking a deep breath, and returning to your original focus

Relationships Are Built on Relating, Not Information Transfer

Relationships are built on relating - sharing commonality and feeling connected - with communication as the carrier of this relating process.

Matching Prospect's Mental and Emotional State Builds Rapport

Building rapport requires matching the prospect's mental, emotional, and physical synchrony to increase their likelihood of being led by you

Reading Back Prospect Notes Dramatically Increases Closes

Reading back comprehensive notes of a prospect's situation creates a powerful moment of clarity that dramatically increases closing ratios

Hypnotic Language Patterns for Rapid Rapport Building

Hypnotic language patterns, developed by Milton Erickson and NLP practitioners, allow rapid rapport building with individuals and groups

Brain as Goal-Seeking Search Engine for Solutions

Your brain functions like Google for goals - when you set a clear vision, your unconscious mind automatically searches for solutions

Improve Communication Across Vocabulary Metaphor and Persuasion

Continuously improve communication skills across all dimensions - vocabulary, specificity, metaphor, persuasion, and public speaking

Most Communication Is Actually Miscommunication

Most communication is actually miscommunication, and most knowledge is imperfect and doesn't work out as planned in the real world.

Motivation as a Tractor Beam Pulling People Into Their Future

A person's motivator acts like a tractor beam pulling them into the future - connect everything to what they want and want to avoid

Telling Yourself to Stop Reinforces the Unwanted Behavior

When people repeatedly tell themselves to stop doing something, the unconscious mind only processes the action they want to stop

Why Negative Thinking Reinforces the Habit

Your unconscious mind cannot process negative commands - focusing on what you don't want programs your mind to create more of it

Slow-Motion Visualization of Your Distraction Sequence

Use slow-motion visualization like a nature documentary to observe your distraction process from trigger to complete defocusing

Sharp Communication Prevents Losing Audience in Complexity

In an increasingly complex world, razor-sharp communication prevents losing people's attention and enables better collaboration

Emotional Power Words — Currency of the Mind

Emotional power words that trigger strong responses are the currency of the mind and far more effective than descriptive words

Marketing Must Get Into Rapport With What Already Motivates Prospects

Marketing must get into rapport with what's already motivating prospects rather than trying to logically convince them to buy

Stay in rapport by using words your customers would use and staying within their realm of experience to maintain connection

Internal Self-Criticism Is Tone and Images, Not Just Words

Self-criticism includes not just negative words but the tone and mental images you use when talking to yourself internally

Humans Understand Information Through Story

Human beings conceptualize information in story context, making storytelling skills essential for effective copywriting

Rating Words on a 1-100 Emotion Scale

Rate words on a 1-100 emotion scale where 'fish' might score 5 while 'shark' scores 80-90 due to primal fear responses

Boundaries Signal Confidence and Command Respect

Setting boundaries quickly communicates that you're not afraid of offending prospects, which increases their respect

When You Feel What Customers Feel — Communication Becomes Hypnotic

When you truly feel what customers are feeling, your communication becomes mesmerizing and almost hypnotic to them

Primary Genius Secondary Type and Shadow Area

Everyone has a primary genius type, a secondary type, and a shadow area where they tend to be blind or struggle

Parent-Child Bedtime Technique — Enter Reality Before Guiding It

Use the parent-child bedtime technique to enter someone's reality before guiding them to your desired outcome

Mental Rapport Requires Understanding Self-Image

Mental rapport requires understanding their self-image, model of the world, and how they want you to see them

People Act for Their Reasons Not Yours — Understanding Values Ends Conflict

People do things for their reasons, not your reasons - understanding others' values solves most conflicts

Five Repetitions to Condition a New Subconscious Response Pattern

Repeat the visualization exercise five times to condition the new response pattern into your subconscious

What Does Form Follows Function Mean in Design

Negative motivation tends to be stronger because negative outcomes can be much worse than positive ones

Asking What Did You Hear Me Say to Verify Understanding

Use the FedEx principle - get sign-off by asking 'what did you hear me say?' to ensure message delivery

Away From Motivation Is Twice as Powerful as Toward

Away from motivation is approximately twice as powerful as toward motivation in driving human behavior

Leaders Must Go First in Modeling Desired Emotional States

Leaders must 'go first' in modeling the emotional states and behaviors they want their team to exhibit

Body Rapport Creates Emotional Synchronization

Physical body rapport creates emotional synchronization - your emotion will follow your body language

You Are the Average of the Five People Closest to You

A centering technique using body alignment can interrupt negative patterns and restore focused energy

The Milton Erickson Horse Story Applied to Coaching

Use Milton Erickson's horse story principle - keep people on the road and they'll find their own way

Away-From Motivators Still Need a Positive Outcome

Even if you're an 'away from' motivated person, you must start with the positive outcome you want

How Minds Store Information in Story Format

Human minds think and record information in story format with timelines and relational meaning

The Unconscious Mind Has No Concept of Negation

The unconscious mind doesn't have a concept for the negative - only the conscious mind does

Share Fears Openly to Build Intimacy

Share your fears openly to build intimacy - confide when you're afraid they might judge you

Why the Unconscious Mind Cannot Process Negative Commands

The unconscious mind cannot process negative commands, making resistance counterproductive

Matching Power Words to Build Linguistic Rapport

Match the other person's power words and favorite phrases to build linguistic rapport

Asking Emotional State to Match Communication Level

Ask 'how are you feeling right now?' to understand their emotional state and match it

Body Language as a Projection of Inner Self-Image

Your body language is a projection of your inner self-image and social status

Two to Three Clarification Rounds Before Sign-Off

Clarify communication 2-3 rounds before achieving satisfactory sign-off

Ask Customers to Teach You How to Be Them

Ask them to teach you how to be them. Ask 'what's it like to be you?' and have them explain what you need to think, feel, and do to experience their situation. Also write their collective autobiography and ask intrusive questions - people will answer if they know you're trying to help them get what they want.

Rapport Is Physical Emotional and Intellectual Synchronization

Rapport is when two people are in sync physically, emotionally, and intellectually. Build it by matching and mirroring their body language, posture, gestures, voice tone, and eye contact patterns - not exact imitation, but capturing the spirit of their physical presence.

Self-Contained Concepts Reveal the Mechanism Step by Step

Take them behind the scenes of how your method works, like revealing a magic trick. Show the mechanism so they think both 'that's ingenious' and 'I could do that.' Then provide feedback loops so they know what to watch for to ensure success and avoid mistakes.

How Your Body's 200 Cycles Drive Renewal

Your mind and emotions operate on unconscious systems that can't be controlled by willpower. Like you can't tell your body to eliminate cancer cells, you can't command emotions to stop being depressed - these systems work automatically.

You Go First — The NLP Principle for Emotional Influence

The principle is 'you go first' - if you want your customer to be in a particular emotional state, you must enter that emotional state first. You can't expect them to be excited if you're not genuinely excited yourself.

Brain as Goal-Seeking Search Engine

Your brain functions as a search engine for goals. When you create a clear vision, your unconscious mind automatically searches for solutions and opportunities to create that result, just like pressing a search button.

How the Unconscious Makes Resistance Backfire

Resistance makes problems persist because the unconscious mind cannot process negative commands, so fighting against something actually makes you focus on it and give it energy.

Why the Brain Ignores the Word Don't

Your unconscious mind can't process the 'don't' part and only focuses on the main subject. Saying 'stop drinking' repeatedly just programs your mind to think about drinking.

Mirror Prospect Language Tone Phrase and Sentence Length

Mirror your prospect's language by using their words, tone of voice, phrases, and sentence length - essentially talking in their voice to build rapport and connection.

When Barriers Come Down — The Power of Real Communication

Something profound happens when the other human being feels like they're with someone that's like them and someone that's in their world. Their barriers come down. They become much more open and you can start achieving what we might call real communication.

Focus on What You Want — Not What You're Avoiding

if you focus on what you don't want you're going to be more likely to bring it into your reality if you focus on what you want you're going to be more likely to bring that into reality as well

Infectious Enthusiasm in Sales

Enthusiasm is really infectious. And when you've got someone who's genuinely excited about the thing that they're selling, it's almost impossible to not get caught up in their motivation

Focus on What You Want — Your Mind Cannot Process the Don't

If you focus on the thing that you don't want, your unconscious mind, it doesn't know how to get rid of the don't part. It only sees the thing that you're focusing on.

Marketers Care About Perceived Need Not Reality

The marketer doesn't care about reality. All they care about is what's going on for my prospective customer so that I can help them get their perceived need met.

Build the Four-Lane Superhighway Not the Paved Cow Path

Let's not just pave over the cow path here and keep doing more of what we've already been doing. Instead, let's build a four-lane superhighway.

The NLP Rule Every Communicator Must Know

The meaning of a communication is the response that you get. Not what you think it is, but how the other person responds.

Teach Me to Be You — The Learning Frame

Teach me how to be you. Tell me what I have to do to be you. What do I need to think? How does that make me feel?

Unconscious Mind Repeats Whatever You Focus On

All your unconscious mind hears is drinking, drinking, drinking, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.

Communication as the Master Skill Behind All Business Success

Communication is really a fundamental skill that supports many of the key success skills in life.

Take Them Behind the Scenes of the Magic Trick

You need to take them behind the scenes of the magic trick and show them how the mechanism works.

The Unconscious Mind Has No Concept of the Negative

the unconscious mind doesn't have a concept for the negative only the conscious mind does

Why Most Communication Is Actually Miscommunication

Most communication isn't successful. Most communication is miscommunication.

You Go First — NLP Principle for State Transfer

In neuro linguistic programming, they have this idea. They say you go first

Each of Us Has Many Personalities Not One

each of us does not have one personality we have many personalities

Focus on What You Want to Create, Not Avoid

focus on what you want to create not on what you want to avoid