How To Manage A Conflict In Your Business
Eben Pagan teaches essential conflict management strategies for business leaders, including how to handle team priorities, address conflicts of interest proactively, and distinguish between problems versus conflicts. He shares specific examples from his team members who excel at managing these situations effectively.
Key Moments
How to Handle New Project Requests Without Disrupting Team Priorities -- A system for managing leader ideas and team priorities effectively
Throwaway Brainstorm Ideas Become Immediate Team Mandates
Throwaway brainstorm ideas sound like projects and mandates to team members, causing them to abandon current priorities and start implementing immediately
▶ 0:14
Stop Everyone and Name the Escalation Before It Becomes a Conflict
As soon as you see escalation starting, stop everyone and explicitly name what's happening. Say 'this is a problem we're having but let's not let this turn into a conflict, let's just talk it through.'
▶ 6:30
Stop Escalation Immediately and Reframe to Collaborative Problem Solving
When problems start escalating to conflicts, immediately stop and reframe by explicitly naming the dynamic and redirecting to collaborative problem-solving
Train Team Members to Reflect Back Current Commitments Before Adding More
Train team members to be individuals who guard organizational priorities by reflecting back current commitments before accepting new projects
The Critical Difference Between a Problem and a Conflict
There is a critical difference between problems and conflicts - problems can be solved collaboratively while conflicts create adversarial dynamics
Relevant Clips19
- How-To
How to Handle New Project Requests Without Disrupting Team Priorities -- A system for managing leader ideas and team priorities effectively
- Teaching
Problems Are Collaborative — Conflicts Are Adversarial
Problems can be solved collaboratively while conflicts create adversarial dynamics. Conflict-oriented people automatically turn every problem into a conflict, but you can prevent this by stopping escalation immediately and reframing the situation.
- Teaching
Train Team Members to Reflect Commitments Before Adding New Projects
Train team members to reflect back current commitments and analyze how new requests fit with existing priorities before implementation. Use clear labels like 'here comes a brainstorm' versus 'here's a project.'
- Teaching
Address Conflicts of Interest Proactively and Openly
Address conflicts of interest proactively and openly rather than hiding them. Every business situation contains built-in conflicts, from customer-company dynamics to team member competition for opportunities.
- Teaching▶ 6:30
Stop Everyone and Name the Escalation Before It Becomes a Conflict
As soon as you see escalation starting, stop everyone and explicitly name what's happening. Say 'this is a problem we're having but let's not let this turn into a conflict, let's just talk it through.'
- Teaching
As Business Grows Decisions Shift to Harder 49-51 Judgment Calls
As businesses grow, decisions shift from clear yes/no choices to close 49/51 splits where opportunity cost becomes the primary factor. Everything evolves closer to difficult judgment calls.
- Teaching
Ideal Team Response — Listen Understand Then Assess Fit
The ideal team response to new requests involves listening without pushback, understanding fully, then analyzing how it fits with current priorities before implementation
- Teaching
Stop Escalation Immediately and Reframe to Collaborative Problem Solving
When problems start escalating to conflicts, immediately stop and reframe by explicitly naming the dynamic and redirecting to collaborative problem-solving
- Teaching▶ 0:14
Throwaway Brainstorm Ideas Become Immediate Team Mandates
Throwaway brainstorm ideas sound like projects and mandates to team members, causing them to abandon current priorities and start implementing immediately
- Teaching
The Critical Difference Between a Problem and a Conflict
There is a critical difference between problems and conflicts - problems can be solved collaboratively while conflicts create adversarial dynamics
- Teaching
Train Team Members to Reflect Back Current Commitments Before Adding More
Train team members to be individuals who guard organizational priorities by reflecting back current commitments before accepting new projects
- Teaching
Hidden Conflicts Create Organizational Politics
Organizational politics emerge when people hide conflicts rather than addressing them directly, creating behind-the-scenes negativity
Show 7 more
- Teaching
Label Brainstorms vs Projects When Communicating
Leaders must distinguish between brainstorms and projects when communicating, explicitly labeling the type of input they're sharing
- Teaching
Built-In Conflicts of Interest Should Be Acknowledged Not Hidden
Every business situation contains built-in conflicts of interest that should be acknowledged proactively rather than hidden
- Teaching
How Business Decisions Evolve Into 49/51 Splits
Business decisions evolve from clear yes/no choices to 49/51 splits as companies grow larger and more complex
- Quotable▶ 4:33
When Business Decisions Become 49/51 Splits
all of the important decisions have shifted from being pretty clear yeah we should do this or no we shouldn't do that and they've evolved to 49 51s
- Quotable▶ 6:15
Conflict-Oriented People Turn Every Problem Into a Fight
conflict oriented people turn every problem into a conflict because that's their orientation
- Quotable▶ 6:47
Conflict Is Wired Into Everything — It Is Part of Life
conflict is wired into everything it's everywhere it is part of life
- Quotable▶ 0:35
Why Throwaway Ideas Sound Like Projects to Your Team
your IDE throwaway ideas sound like projects to those people
Entities Touched
Concepts
Questions
Canonical Teachings
Summary
Managing Team Priorities When Leaders Share New Ideas
Eben explains how casual brainstorms get interpreted as mandates, disrupting team focus. He teaches leaders to explicitly label their communications and train team members like Bo Ryan to reflect back current priorities before accepting new projects.
Addressing Business Conflicts of Interest Proactively
Every business situation contains built-in conflicts, from customer-company dynamics to team competition. As businesses grow, decisions become 49/51 judgment calls where opportunity cost matters most.
Distinguishing Problems from Conflicts in Leadership
Eben shares his epiphany about conflict-oriented people who turn every problem into adversarial dynamics. He provides specific language for stopping escalation and redirecting to collaborative problem-solving.
Counterpoint
Claim: “Team members should immediately implement leader ideas to show responsiveness and initiative”
Reframe: Effective team members should guard organizational priorities by reflecting back current commitments before accepting new directives
Bo Ryan demonstrates this by listening fully, understanding completely, then analyzing how new requests impact the top three company priorities and providing timeline implications before proceeding
Claim: “Conflicts of interest should be minimized or hidden to maintain harmony”
Reframe: Conflicts of interest are built into every business situation and should be acknowledged and discussed openly
The fundamental conflict between customers wanting everything for lowest price and companies wanting maximum profit exists in every transaction, plus team members naturally compete for opportunities
Claim: “All workplace issues should be treated the same way”
Reframe: Problems and conflicts require completely different approaches - problems can be solved collaboratively while conflicts create adversarial dynamics
Eben's epiphany-level realization that conflict-oriented people automatically turn every problem into a conflict, which can be prevented by immediately stopping escalation and reframing
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Topics
Coaching Strategies
Business Frameworks
Common Mistakes