How To Get Your Customers To Give You Referrals
Eben Pagan teaches a systematic approach to getting customer referrals by setting expectations upfront and giving customers compelling stories to share. Rather than simply asking for referrals, he shows how to create experiences that customers naturally want to tell their friends about.
Key Moments
How to Get Customer Referrals Using the Story Method -- A systematic approach to generating referrals by setting expectations upfront and creating story-worthy experiences
Customers Tell Referral Stories Seeking Attention and Validation
Customers tell referral stories to seek attention, approval, and validation - they want to appear intelligent and cool to friends
▶ 4:25
Pre-Service Referral Agreement That Removes Marketing Costs
Make the referral deal before providing service by explaining you invest in service quality instead of advertising, then ask for referrals in exchange
Set Referral Expectations Before Asking for Referrals
Set referral expectations upfront by explaining your business model focuses on service improvement rather than customer acquisition
Design Experiences Specifically for Stories Friends Will Want to Share
Design customer experiences specifically to create stories their friends will find cool and worth sharing
Ask for Referrals Upfront Before Service, Not After
Ask for referrals upfront before providing service, not after. Explain your business model focuses on service improvement rather than customer acquisition, then make the referral deal as part of your initial agreement.
Relevant Clips15
- How-To
How to Get Customer Referrals Using the Story Method -- A systematic approach to generating referrals by setting expectations upfront and creating story-worthy experiences
- Teaching
Set Referral Expectations Upfront and Create Story-Worthy Moments
Set referral expectations upfront by explaining your business model focuses on improving service rather than advertising, then ask customers to refer others in exchange for great service. Create story-worthy experiences customers naturally want to share with friends.
- Teaching
Create Experiences That Give Customers Cool Stories to Tell
Create experiences that give customers cool stories to tell their friends. Design moments that are story-worthy and make customers want to share their experience, like bringing celebrations directly to their workplace where others can witness.
- Teaching
Why Customers Share Business Stories With Their Friends
Customers share business stories to seek attention, approval, and validation from friends. They want to appear intelligent and cool by sharing interesting experiences, expecting friends to respond with their own impressive stories.
- Teaching
Ask for Referrals Upfront Before Service, Not After
Ask for referrals upfront before providing service, not after. Explain your business model focuses on service improvement rather than customer acquisition, then make the referral deal as part of your initial agreement.
- Teaching
Referrals Happen Through Storytelling, Not Direct Recommendations
People refer through storytelling within natural conversations, not direct recommendations. They share experiences as stories to seek attention and validation, wanting to appear intelligent and cool to their friends.
- Teaching
Pre-Service Referral Agreement That Removes Marketing Costs
Make the referral deal before providing service by explaining you invest in service quality instead of advertising, then ask for referrals in exchange
- Teaching
Set Referral Expectations Before Asking for Referrals
Set referral expectations upfront by explaining your business model focuses on service improvement rather than customer acquisition
- Teaching▶ 4:25
Customers Tell Referral Stories Seeking Attention and Validation
Customers tell referral stories to seek attention, approval, and validation - they want to appear intelligent and cool to friends
- Teaching
Bring Celebrations to the Customer's Environment Where Others Witness
Create referral moments by bringing celebrations directly to the customer's environment where others can witness and participate
- Teaching
People Refer Through Storytelling Not Direct Recommendations
People refer through storytelling, not direct recommendations - they share experiences within natural conversations
- Teaching
Design Experiences Specifically for Stories Friends Will Want to Share
Design customer experiences specifically to create stories their friends will find cool and worth sharing
Show 3 more
- Quotable▶ 2:10
Real Estate Agents Close With Referrals — Make the Deal Upfront
make the deal up front and what i saw in real estate a lot and they have tremendous success to this day a lot of real estate agents will walk out of a home listing appointment or out of a buyer agent appointment with the contract and with referrals
- Quotable▶ 6:04
Give Customers Stories Their Friends Will Think Are Cool
what kind of stories should you give your customers to tell stories that their friends will think are cool so give them a story that's the kind that they would want to call and tell their friends about
- Quotable▶ 5:52
Stories Are How We Get Love, Attention, and Approval From Others
underneath it all we're telling stories to get love attention approval status friendship that's why we're doing it underneath it all
Entities Touched
Concepts
Canonical Teachings
Summary
Setting Referral Expectations Upfront
Eben introduces the foundational strategy of asking for referrals before providing service, explaining how this approach originated from Australian dentist Patty Lund and was refined by Joe Stumpf at By Referral Only. Real estate agents using this method successfully walk out of appointments with both contracts and new referrals.
The Psychology of Referral Storytelling
Rather than making direct recommendations, people refer through storytelling within natural conversations. Eben reveals that customers share business stories to seek attention, approval, and validation from friends, wanting to appear intelligent and cool through interesting experiences.
Creating Story-Worthy Customer Experiences
The key is designing specific experiences that customers naturally want to tell their friends about. Eben shares examples like bringing celebration baskets to client offices when deals close, creating immediate buzz and referral opportunities with multiple witnesses present.
Counterpoint
Claim: “Ask customers for referrals after providing good service”
Reframe: Set referral expectations upfront by explaining your business model focuses on service improvement rather than customer acquisition
Real estate agents using this upfront approach walk out of appointments with both contracts and referrals, rather than hoping for referrals later
Claim: “People make direct referral recommendations to friends”
Reframe: People refer through storytelling within natural conversations to seek attention and validation
Referrals happen through stories like 'something cool happened today' rather than direct recommendation calls
Claim: “Focus on providing good service and referrals will naturally follow”
Reframe: Design specific experiences that create stories customers will want to tell their friends
Strategic celebration visits to client offices create immediate referral opportunities with multiple witnesses present
Related Content
Eben Pagan Review: Who The Heck Is He? - Systeme.io
Discover how Eben Pagan built a digital empire from a single ebook written in three weeks, generating $25-30 million annually through his proven relationship-building business model.
How to Talk About Money with Confidence
Discover the exact words Eben Pagan uses to talk about money confidently in any business situation without losing respect or trust.
How Rejection Can Improve Your Relationships
Why the most successful people in the world all have one thing in common: they went through a phase of doing sales and experiencing rejection.
How To REALLY Motivate & Inspire Yourself (and Others)
The secret to charging premium coaching fees isn't better techniques - it's helping clients see a transformation vision so compelling they'd trade almost anything to achieve it.
How Learning Sales Makes You A Better Coach
Why skipping sales training almost guarantees you'll never become a truly great coach, even if you master every other business skill.
Build Relationship Customer
The counterintuitive business skill that Eben Pagan says can make you the most money isn't what you think.
Topics
Coaching Strategies