How To Generate Your Own Inner POWER
Eben Pagan shares personal strategies for self-acknowledgment and meeting your own emotional needs when you achieve success. He teaches specific techniques like mirror work and self-praise to compensate for gaps in childhood encouragement.
Key Moments
How to Practice Self-Acknowledgment Through Mirror Work -- A specific technique for meeting your own emotional needs and giving yourself encouragement after accomplishments
Bathroom Mirror Practice for Acknowledging Your Own Wins
Go to a bathroom mirror, smile at yourself, and specifically say 'you did it, good work, nice work' after completing tasks. Then give yourself permission to rest or relax.
▶ 0:39
Write Encouragement Notes to Yourself on the Mirror
Write yourself encouragement notes and place them on your mirror with specific phrases like 'great work honey, I love you, I'm really proud of you for doing that.'
▶ 1:20
Mirror Work — Tell Yourself 'Good Work' Right After Completing Tasks
Use mirror work for self-acknowledgment by going to the bathroom, looking in the mirror, smiling at yourself, and specifically saying 'you did it, good work, nice work' after completing tasks or working hard
Write Encouragement Notes to Yourself on the Mirror
Write yourself specific encouragement notes and place them on your mirror if verbal self-acknowledgment feels uncomfortable, using phrases like 'great work honey, I love you, I'm really proud of you'
Ask Directly for a Hug When You Need Emotional Support
Ask family members or friends for hugs when you need emotional support, being direct about your needs rather than hoping they'll notice
Relevant Clips10
- How-To
How to Practice Self-Acknowledgment Through Mirror Work -- A specific technique for meeting your own emotional needs and giving yourself encouragement after accomplishments
- Teaching
Mirror Work — Tell Yourself 'Good Work' Right After Completing Tasks
Use mirror work for self-acknowledgment by going to the bathroom, looking in the mirror, smiling at yourself, and specifically saying 'you did it, good work, nice work' after completing tasks or working hard
- Teaching
Write Encouragement Notes to Yourself on the Mirror
Write yourself specific encouragement notes and place them on your mirror if verbal self-acknowledgment feels uncomfortable, using phrases like 'great work honey, I love you, I'm really proud of you'
- Teaching▶ 0:39
Bathroom Mirror Practice for Acknowledging Your Own Wins
Go to a bathroom mirror, smile at yourself, and specifically say 'you did it, good work, nice work' after completing tasks. Then give yourself permission to rest or relax.
- Teaching▶ 1:20
Write Encouragement Notes to Yourself on the Mirror
Write yourself encouragement notes and place them on your mirror with specific phrases like 'great work honey, I love you, I'm really proud of you for doing that.'
- Teaching
Scheduled Rest After Acknowledging Accomplishments
Give yourself specific permission to rest and relax after acknowledging your accomplishments, rather than just continuing to work without pause
- Teaching
Ask Directly for What You Need From Family and Friends
Be direct about your needs by asking family or friends specifically for what you need, like saying 'I need a hug, will you give me one?'
- Teaching
Ask Directly for a Hug When You Need Emotional Support
Ask family members or friends for hugs when you need emotional support, being direct about your needs rather than hoping they'll notice
- Quotable▶ 0:42
Mirror Technique — Smile and Acknowledge Your Own Wins
I will go into the bathroom in front of the big mirror and I'll smile at myself and I'll give myself the kind of smile that I need and I will say to myself you did it you know good work nice work
- Quotable▶ 1:53
When You Do Good Work Get Your Needs Met
when you do a good job get your needs met
Entities Touched
Concepts
Questions
Canonical Teachings
Summary
The Gap in Childhood Encouragement
Eben shares how his parents couldn't provide the specific encouragement he needed - his father couldn't make eye contact or say 'good job,' while his mother gave only generic unconditional praise. This personal experience led him to develop techniques for meeting his own emotional needs as an adult.
The Mirror Work Technique
The core practice involves going to a bathroom mirror after accomplishing something, smiling at yourself, and giving specific verbal acknowledgment like 'you did it, good work, nice work.' This is followed by giving yourself permission to rest or relax, then enjoying that moment before returning to daily activities.
Alternative Methods for Self-Acknowledgment
For those uncomfortable with verbal mirror work, Eben suggests writing encouragement notes to place on your mirror or directly asking family and friends for emotional support like hugs when needed. The key is being specific about your emotional needs rather than hoping others will notice.
Counterpoint
Claim: “You should wait for others to acknowledge your accomplishments and give you encouragement”
Reframe: You can and should meet your own emotional needs for acknowledgment through specific self-praise and mirror work techniques
Eben developed mirror work because his parents couldn't provide the specific encouragement he needed - his father couldn't look him in the eyes or say 'good job' and his mother gave only generic praise
Topics
Coaching Strategies
Business Frameworks