Eben Pagan teaches relationship-based marketing through three core models: stair-step marketing that breaks big commitments into small steps, education marketing that positions you as a trusted advisor, and customer lifecycle marketing that meets prospects earlier in their journey. This approach builds long-term customer relationships rather than pursuing one-time transactions.
Relationship Based Marketing
Eben introduces stair-step marketing based on Robert Cialdini's research on commitment and consistency. Rather than asking for big commitments upfront, breaking requests into small steps dramatically increases acceptance rates, as demonstrated through bone marrow donation studies.
Drawing from Jay Abraham's work, Eben explains how prospects literally don't know what they don't know. By taking the educator role and teaching the right questions to ask and mistakes to avoid, you position yourself as a trusted advisor rather than just another vendor.
Customer lifecycle marketing recognizes that people go through predictable stages and allows you to create processes that feel personal regardless of where customers enter. The key is finding prospects much earlier - sometimes years before they're ready to buy.
Eben emphasizes that assuming long-term relationships changes everything about your approach - from communication tone to upfront investment. This mindset shift enables you to influence entire market perceptions, not just individual buying decisions.
“We're breaking up big commitments into small steps. Small bite sized steps that are easy to make.”
— Eben Pagan▶ 5:35
Use stair-step marketing to break big commitments into small, manageable steps. Start with tiny commitments like clicking a link or watching a video, then gradually build up to larger commitments like joining your email list, then purchasing low-cost products, before asking for major purchases.
“One of the most valuable things you can do is to educate your prospective customers. They literally don't know what they don't know.”
— Eben Pagan▶ 6:11
Focus on education rather than selling. Teach prospects what they don't know they don't know - the right questions to ask, expensive mistakes to avoid, and how to make good decisions. This positions you as a trusted advisor rather than just another vendor.
“Instead of just going to find people that want to buy right now, we want to find people who are thinking about buying in thirty days, ninety days, six months, a year.”
— Eben Pagan▶ 11:21
Start marketing much earlier than you think - find people who are 30 days, 90 days, 6 months, or even a year away from being ready to buy. Meet them so far upstream that they don't even know they'll eventually become your customer.
“By creating a process that they can kind of join up with at any stage that they're at, you can create a very powerful marketing machine that's accessible to many many people, but that still feels very personal and valuable to each of them.”
— Eben Pagan▶ 10:07
Use customer lifecycle marketing by recognizing that people go through predictable stages. Create a process that customers can join at any stage of their journey, making it feel personal and valuable to each person regardless of where they start.
“This mindset, it really affects the tone of communication, what you're willing to give away upfront, the investment you're willing to make in someone early on, the length of time that you'll keep investing in them before they buy from you.”
— Eben Pagan▶ 10:45
Traditional sales focuses on immediate transactions, while relationship marketing assumes long-term engagement. This changes your communication tone, what you're willing to invest upfront, and how long you'll nurture prospects before expecting a purchase.
“You can actually influence their entire picture of the type of product that you offer, the market that you sell into. Not just one buying decision, but how they think about the entire marketplace for products and services like yours.”
— Eben Pagan▶ 13:33
By meeting customers early in their journey and educating them throughout, you can shape how they think about your entire marketplace and product category, not just individual buying decisions. This positions you to influence their entire perspective on your industry.
A step-by-step approach to building long-term customer relationships through education and gradual commitment building
Design Your Stair-Step Sequence
Map out small commitments starting from clicking an ad through visiting your website, opting into your email list, watching free videos, reading newsletters, and gradually building to entry-level purchases.
Identify Education Opportunities
Determine what prospects don't know they don't know - the right questions to ask, expensive mistakes to avoid, and how to make good decisions in your field.
Map Your Customer Lifecycle
Understand the predictable stages your customers go through and create touchpoints that allow them to join your process at any stage while feeling personally valued.
Find Prospects Upstream
Locate potential customers 30 days, 90 days, 6 months, or a year before they're ready to buy. Position yourself as a trusted advisor before they start looking at competitors.
Adopt Long-Term Mindset
Adjust your communication tone, upfront investment, and patience to reflect a long-term relationship approach rather than transactional thinking.
Stair-step marketing breaks big commitments into small, manageable steps that gradually lead customers toward larger purchases through the psychology of commitment and consistency
Robert Cialdini's research on bone marrow donation shows this principle: approaching strangers directly for bone marrow donation gets nearly 100% rejection, but starting with small volunteer commitments (spending an hour with a patient, then a day with a child) eventually leads many to donate bone marrow
Education marketing positions you as a trusted advisor by teaching prospects what they don't know they don't know - the right questions to ask, expensive mistakes to avoid, and how to make good decisions
Jay Abraham pioneered this concept. Prospects literally don't know what they don't know - they have no idea how much they could learn, don't know the right questions to ask, and don't know how to make good decisions in your field
Customer lifecycle marketing recognizes that people go through predictable stages and allows customers to join your process at any stage while still feeling personally valued
All humans go through predictable life cycles: birth, childhood, teenage years, young adulthood, careers, families, retirement. Your customers also go through predictable mental and emotional experiences with consistent insights and questions arising at each stage
Meet prospects far upstream in their journey - before they even know they'll become your customer - to build relationships and establish expertise early
For educational materials targeting parents of 2-year-olds, start building relationships with pregnant mothers and fathers researching pregnancy. Follow up for 1-3 years so when they're ready to educate their toddler, you're already established as a trusted expert
A typical stair-step sequence progresses through clicking ads, visiting websites, opting into email lists, watching free videos, reading newsletters, returning to the site multiple times, then purchasing entry-level products
Specific sequence outlined: click advertisement → visit website → opt into email list → watch free video → read follow-up newsletter → read another newsletter → visit website again → purchase low-end product → more follow-ups → purchase additional products
Taking on the educator role creates the foundation for long-term communication and positions you as someone customers like, trust, and admire
When someone is serious about purchasing or investing in an area of their life with big pain, fear, or frustration, they will spend significant time getting educated. If you provide that education, they appreciate it and see you as an expert
Approaching marketing as a long-term relationship changes your communication tone, upfront investment willingness, and patience before expecting purchases
Long-term relationship mindset affects: the tone of communication, what you're willing to give away upfront, the investment you'll make in someone early on, and how long you'll keep investing before they buy from you
You can influence customers' entire perception of your marketplace and product category, not just individual buying decisions
By meeting customers early and educating them throughout their journey, you can shape how they think about the entire marketplace for products and services like yours, beyond just one buying decision
Stair-step marketing breaks big commitments into small, manageable steps that gradually lead customers toward larger purchases through the psychology of commitment and consistency
▶ 1:28Education marketing positions you as a trusted advisor by teaching prospects what they don't know they don't know - the right questions to ask, expensive mistakes to avoid, and how to make good decisions
▶ 5:55Customer lifecycle marketing recognizes that people go through predictable stages and allows customers to join your process at any stage while still feeling personally valued
▶ 8:38Meet prospects far upstream in their journey - before they even know they'll become your customer - to build relationships and establish expertise early
▶ 11:21A typical stair-step sequence progresses through clicking ads, visiting websites, opting into email lists, watching free videos, reading newsletters, returning to the site multiple times, then purchasing entry-level products
▶ 4:25Taking on the educator role creates the foundation for long-term communication and positions you as someone customers like, trust, and admire
▶ 7:07Approaching marketing as a long-term relationship changes your communication tone, upfront investment willingness, and patience before expecting purchases
▶ 10:45You can influence customers' entire perception of your marketplace and product category, not just individual buying decisions
▶ 13:33Claim: “Marketing should target people ready to buy right now”
Reframe: Find people thinking about buying in 30-90 days, 6 months, or even a year out to build relationships before they start shopping
Claim: “Ask for the sale immediately when someone shows interest”
Reframe: Break big commitments into small steps that gradually build commitment and consistency over time
Claim: “Focus marketing on your product features and benefits”
Reframe: Take the role of educator teaching prospects what they don't know they don't know
“They literally don't know what they don't know.”
“We're breaking up big commitments into small steps. Small bite sized steps that are easy to make.”
“Let's make marketing into a fun, multi step, multi player game. Not something boring and kind of hard and lame.”
“This is going to be a long term relationship. So always remember to approach this relationship with your customer in a way that assumes that it's going to be long term.”
Moving The Free Line
Discover the counterintuitive marketing strategy that helped Eben Pagan generate millions by giving away his best ideas for free.
Persuade Masses
The follow-up strategy that turned Eben's business from a single ebook into a multi-million dollar empire—and how it can 10x your results too.
Niche Tips For Your Online Business
The virtual business expert who built a multi-million dollar empire reveals exactly where to find your ideal customers online and how to speak their language.
Coaching Strategies
Business Frameworks
The word 'free' is one of the most powerful marketing words in the English language, and moving the free line is the most important idea Eben has implemented that led to his business success
Eben states this is 'the most important idea I've implemented in my business that's led to the most success' and calls it 'a very powerful mindset, very powerful approach'
Moving the free line means taking your very best knowledge, techniques, and insights and packaging them into reports, ebooks, and videos that you give away to prospective customers
Eben defines the strategy as 'taking some of your very best knowledge, techniques, insights, and packaging it up into reports, ebooks, videos, and other forms that you can give away to prospective customers'
Most prospects don't buy on first contact, so systematic follow-up using email newsletters, podcasts, or video series is essential for building relationships over time with prospects at different stages of the buying process.
Eben explains that some house buyers are a year out from purchasing while others need to buy within a week, demonstrating the varying timelines prospects operate on.
Adding an email newsletter follow-up series can increase business results by 10x compared to having no follow-up system in place.
Eben states his business would be 'one tenth the size that it is right now' without his email newsletter series, and millions of people have been on his dating tips newsletter receiving dozens to hundreds of follow-ups.
