Never Give Advice Before Doing This Step FIRST
Eben Pagan shares his proven coaching methodology that prioritizes helping clients discover their own solutions before offering advice. He reveals the specific question sequence that motivates people from within and leads to real transformation.
Teachings 5
Always help clients identify what they want to create, achieve, and avoid before offering any advice or teaching
Eben Pagan uses this as his first step in every coaching session, whether consulting, coaching, or mentoring, asking clients to share their goals and what they want to avoid
Check if clients already know what they need to do before providing solutions, then work on implementation rather than giving the 'Easy Button'
This methodology leads to the most growth and change according to Eben's coaching experience, as it ensures clients do their best before receiving direct help
Most people already have answers for what they want to achieve and avoid - they're just waiting to be asked the right questions
Eben observes that when you ask people about their goals and what they want to avoid, everyone has answers ready - this helps them clarify their values
The surprising question 'what's your next step to create those outcomes' catches people off-guard and motivates immediate action
Most people expect help or validation of their ideas, but asking for specific action steps gets them to identify concrete next steps they can take right now
This questioning formula inspires people from the inside by connecting their action steps to their desired outcomes
The process involves asking if they can see how their identified action will get them what they want and help them avoid what they don't want, then securing commitment to act
Quotable Moments 3
“this is what leads to the most growth and change and real success in life”
— Eben Pagan“everyone has answers for these they're just waiting to be asked”
— Eben Pagan“this is the formula to inspire someone from the inside”
— Eben Pagan
How to Coach Without Giving Immediate Advice
Eben Pagan's proven methodology for inspiring clients from within by helping them discover their own solutions
- 1
Clarify desired outcomes
Ask clients what they want to create, achieve, and avoid in their life to help them get clear about their values and goals
- 2
Check existing knowledge
Determine if they already know what they need to do so you can work on implementation rather than providing solutions
- 3
Ask the surprising question
Instead of offering help or advice, ask 'what's your next step to create those outcomes?' to get them thinking about immediate action
- 4
Connect action to outcomes
Ask if they can see how their identified action step will help them get what they want and avoid what they don't want
- 5
Secure commitment
Get their commitment to take the action they identified by asking 'will you do it?'
Questions Answered
What should you do before giving advice in coaching sessions
“the first place that I come from is seeing if I can get them to share what they want to create what they want to achieve what they want to avoid and then see if they already know what they need to do so that we can just get to work on having them do it”
— Eben Pagan
Before giving any advice, first help clients identify what they want to create, achieve, and avoid. Then check if they already know what they need to do and work on implementation.
How do you motivate coaching clients to take action
“what's your next step to create those outcomes you know what most people are expecting you to do is go oh well let me see if I can help or oh those are really nice ideas but they're not expecting you to say well what's an action step you can take right now”
— Eben Pagan▶ 1:34
Ask them what they want to create and avoid, then ask the surprising question 'what's your next step to create those outcomes?' Most people expect advice but this gets them to identify specific actions they can take immediately.
Why shouldn't you immediately give coaching clients solutions
“I want to make sure that they've done their best and they've tried the best they can before I then give them the Easy Button because this is what leads to the most growth and change and real success in life”
— Eben Pagan▶ 0:32
Giving immediate solutions is like providing an 'Easy Button' that prevents real growth. Clients learn and change more when they first try their best to find solutions themselves.
How do you get coaching clients to clarify their goals
“when you talk to people and you start asking them hey where are you going what's next for you what do you want to achieve next in your life and then you ask what are some things that you want to avoid or prevent in your life everyone has answers for these they're just waiting to be asked”
— Eben Pagan▶ 1:04
Ask them where they're going, what's next for them, what they want to achieve, and what they want to avoid. Everyone has answers to these questions - they're just waiting to be asked.
What is the formula to inspire coaching clients from within
“this is the formula to inspire someone from the inside”
— Eben Pagan▶ 2:14
First clarify what they want to create and avoid, then ask for their next action step, confirm they see how it connects to their goals, and secure their commitment to do it.
Summary
The Foundation of Effective Coaching
Eben Pagan reveals his core coaching methodology that prioritizes client self-discovery over immediate advice-giving. He explains how starting every session by understanding what clients want to create and avoid sets the foundation for real transformation.
The Power of the Right Questions
Most people already have the answers they need - they just need someone to ask the right questions. Pagan demonstrates how specific questioning techniques help clients clarify their values and identify concrete next steps they can take immediately.
The Formula for Internal Motivation
Rather than providing external motivation through advice, this methodology inspires clients from within by connecting their own identified actions to their desired outcomes. The process culminates in securing commitment to take immediate action.
Counterpoint
Claim: “Good coaches immediately offer advice and solutions when clients share their problems”
Reframe: The best coaches first help clients discover what they want to create and avoid, then check if they already know what to do before offering any advice
Eben's methodology of asking about goals and desired outcomes first, then checking for existing knowledge before teaching, leads to the most growth and real success
Claim: “People need experts to tell them what to do to solve their problems”
Reframe: Most people already know what they need to do and just need the right questions to help them clarify and commit to action
Everyone has answers for what they want to achieve and avoid when asked, and the surprising question about next steps gets them to identify actions they can take immediately
Key Points 5
Always help clients identify what they want to create, achieve, and avoid before offering any advice or teaching
Check if clients already know what they need to do before providing solutions, then work on implementation rather than giving the 'Easy Button'
▶ 0:32Most people already have answers for what they want to achieve and avoid - they're just waiting to be asked the right questions
▶ 1:04The surprising question 'what's your next step to create those outcomes' catches people off-guard and motivates immediate action
▶ 1:34This questioning formula inspires people from the inside by connecting their action steps to their desired outcomes
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Topics
Coaching Strategies