How To REALLY Motivate & Inspire Yourself (and Others)

Focus on the client's next emergent level, not their next step - ask what transcends their current identity, roles, and everything they're up to in life

Eben distinguishes between progression (next step) and transformation (next level upward and outward that transcends current sense of identity)

Create a Transformation Vision (TV) in the client's mind - if they can see what's possible, the sales pitch becomes simply asking if they want to bring that into 3D reality

Eben interviewed Mary Morrissey and they discussed how once clients have their personal 'TV' (transformation vision), the sales pitch is just 'would you like to make that real now'

When clients have a true transformation vision, there's almost nothing more valuable than achieving it - they would trade nearly everything except perhaps saving a family member

Eben uses the example that he'd choose saving his daughter over his transformation vision, but asks 'what else would I not trade to reach that transformation?'

Resistance to transformation creates objections that masquerade as price, time, or other presenting issues, but the real fear is about vulnerability and change

Eben explains that someone wanting weight loss immediately thinks 'I'll have to stop eating junk food' and someone seeking relationships thinks 'I'll have to be vulnerable' - these fears come out as objections about price or time

Women on average have a smaller sense of what's possible than men, making it particularly important to expand their vision of possibility

Claire Zammit's research in women's transformational leadership found that women have a smaller sense of what's possible compared to men on average

Limited reference points act like horse blinders or a 'reality tunnel' that restricts vision of what's possible

Eben references Robert Anton Wilson's concept of 'reality tunnel' to describe how past limitations create a myopic view of possibilities

The difference between small improvements and transformational visions can be 10x in value - like losing 5 pounds versus total lifestyle transformation

Eben compares helping someone 'lose 5 pounds and go on a diet' versus 'lose 30 pounds, get into great shape, run 3 miles, have vital energy, and inspire others' as a 10x difference in transformation

Build a complete profile around the big vision by exploring how the transformation impacts all areas of life - relationships, business, health

Eben describes asking about the 30 pounds, what problems it's causing, what problems those problems cause, and how losing it affects relationships and business to build 'the big vision'

Most people can only imagine one level higher than where they are - they can dip their toe 20% into it but can't fully imagine being there

Eben explains that in developmental paradigms, people can imagine one level higher but not two levels because it's 'a different paradigm, values system, identity, culture - another world'

Spend time mapping out how the transformation affects every area - health, relationships, business - doing 'the math' with clients over the life of the relationship

Eben describes drawing a matrix and checking every box: 'if I reach the transformational vision how's that going to affect my health, relationships, business' over an hour or two and throughout the coaching relationship

When clients object to price or time, redirect them to what's more important in their life than achieving their transformation vision

Eben's script: 'what's more important in your life than this? You're saying you don't have time or can't afford this - what else would you be investing in?'

Most coaches use old-world filters based on past experience and research rather than starting with a blank canvas of what the client wants to create

Eben contrasts coaches who look through the lens of 'what has been possible in the past' versus asking 'what do you want to create in your life? What's the vision you want to make?'