How To Get Your Customers To Give You Referrals

How do you get customers to refer new clients to your business

“when you first meet a client you sit down with them and before you start offering your product or service before you really even start selling them you say you know what before we get going let me just tell you a little bit about how my business works”

— Eben Pagan▶ 1:05

Set referral expectations upfront by explaining your business model focuses on improving service rather than advertising, then ask customers to refer others in exchange for great service. Create story-worthy experiences customers naturally want to share with friends.

When should you ask customers for referrals

“make the deal up front and what i saw in real estate a lot and they have tremendous success to this day a lot of real estate agents will walk out of a home listing appointment or out of a buyer agent appointment with the contract and with referrals”

— Eben Pagan▶ 2:05

Ask for referrals upfront before providing service, not after. Explain your business model focuses on service improvement rather than customer acquisition, then make the referral deal as part of your initial agreement.

How do people actually refer businesses to their friends

“we don't call up our friends and say uh hi joe i just wanted to call and uh give a recommendation for a dry cleaner that i just used all right that's just not the way it's done”

— Eben Pagan▶ 3:07

People refer through storytelling within natural conversations, not direct recommendations. They share experiences as stories to seek attention and validation, wanting to appear intelligent and cool to their friends.

What kind of customer experiences create referrals

“what kind of stories should you give your customers to tell stories that their friends will think are cool so give them a story that's the kind that they would want to call and tell their friends about”

— Eben Pagan▶ 6:12

Create experiences that give customers cool stories to tell their friends. Design moments that are story-worthy and make customers want to share their experience, like bringing celebrations directly to their workplace where others can witness.

Why do customers tell stories about businesses to their friends

“we humans are quirky and weird and let me tell you something underneath it all we're telling stories to get love attention approval status friendship that's why we're doing it underneath it all”

— Eben Pagan▶ 5:42

Customers share business stories to seek attention, approval, and validation from friends. They want to appear intelligent and cool by sharing interesting experiences, expecting friends to respond with their own impressive stories.

Setting Referral Expectations Upfront

Eben introduces the foundational strategy of asking for referrals before providing service, explaining how this approach originated from Australian dentist Patty Lund and was refined by Joe Stumpf at By Referral Only. Real estate agents using this method successfully walk out of appointments with both contracts and new referrals.

The Psychology of Referral Storytelling

Rather than making direct recommendations, people refer through storytelling within natural conversations. Eben reveals that customers share business stories to seek attention, approval, and validation from friends, wanting to appear intelligent and cool through interesting experiences.

Creating Story-Worthy Customer Experiences

The key is designing specific experiences that customers naturally want to tell their friends about. Eben shares examples like bringing celebration baskets to client offices when deals close, creating immediate buzz and referral opportunities with multiple witnesses present.