Focus Your Mind To Create The Outcome You Want with Eben Pagan
Eben Pagan teaches how focusing on what you want to create rather than what you want to avoid is crucial for achieving your goals. He explains the neurolinguistic principle that the unconscious mind doesn't process negatives, making positive focus essential for success.
Teachings 6
People are motivated by both moving away from what they don't want and moving toward what they want, but most are more motivated by one or the other unconsciously
Eben Pagan identifies two distinct motivational patterns that operate unconsciously in people, with most individuals having a stronger preference for one approach
Negative motivation tends to be stronger because negative outcomes can be much worse than positive ones
Eben provides specific examples: losing your arm is worse than winning a million dollars, and death is worse than getting a 100 million dollar mansion
The unconscious mind doesn't have a concept for the negative - only the conscious mind does
Eben learned this principle from neuro-linguistic programming and hypnosis training, explaining that when you tell the unconscious mind 'stop smoking' it only hears 'smoking'
When people repeatedly tell themselves to stop doing something, the unconscious mind only processes the action they want to stop
Eben uses the smoking example: when someone says 'got to stop smoking, stop smoking, stop smoking' the unconscious mind only hears 'smoking smoking smoke smoke smoke'
Even if you're an 'away from' motivated person, you must start with the positive outcome you want
Eben emphasizes this applies universally, even for people who are naturally motivated by moving away from negative situations
Focusing on what you don't want makes you more likely to create it, while focusing on what you want makes you more likely to create that
Eben references the movie The Secret and its principle of focusing on what you want and believing it will become more real in your life
Quotable Moments 3
“focus on what you want to create not on what you want to avoid”
— Eben Pagan“the unconscious mind doesn't have a concept for the negative only the conscious mind does”
— Eben Pagan“if you focus on what you don't want you're going to be more likely to bring it into your reality if you focus on what you want you're going to be more likely to bring that into reality as well”
— Eben Pagan
How to Focus Your Mind on What You Want to Create
A method for redirecting mental focus from avoiding problems to creating desired outcomes
- 1
Identify your motivation type
Recognize whether you're more motivated by moving toward what you want or away from what you don't want, understanding that both are needed but most people favor one approach
- 2
Define the positive outcome
Even if you're 'away from' motivated, start by clearly defining what you want to create rather than what you want to avoid
- 3
Reframe negative commands
When you catch yourself thinking 'stop doing X' or 'don't do Y,' immediately redirect to focus on the positive alternative behavior or outcome you want
- 4
Use positive language consistently
Structure your self-talk and goals using positive commands that tell your unconscious mind what to do, not what to avoid
Questions Answered
Why doesn't focusing on what I don't want work
“the unconscious mind doesn't have a concept for the negative only the conscious mind does so if I say don't do this thing all right if I say stop smoking you can with your conscious mind you can go oh I'll put my cigarette down and stop smoking if I tell your unconscious mind stop smoking all it hears is smoking”
— Eben Pagan▶ 1:03
The unconscious mind can't process negative commands. When you tell yourself 'don't do this' or 'stop that,' your unconscious only hears the action you want to avoid, making you more likely to do it.
How should I focus my mind to achieve my goals
“focus on what you want to create not on what you want to avoid”
— Eben Pagan
Focus on the specific outcome you want to create, not what you want to avoid. Even if you're motivated by moving away from negative things, you must start with a clear picture of your desired positive outcome.
What makes negative motivation stronger than positive motivation
“negative motivation moving away from what we don't want tends to be a stronger motivator and that's because negative things that happen can be a lot worse than a positive thing so you know like losing your arm is probably a lot worse than winning a million dollars right”
— Eben Pagan▶ 0:31
Negative outcomes can be exponentially worse than positive ones are good. For example, losing your arm is much worse than winning a million dollars, making the fear of loss a powerful motivator.
Why do people struggle with breaking bad habits
“what a lot of people do when they smoke for instance is they go I got to stop smoking got to stop smoking stop smoking and the unconscious mind all it hears is smoking smoking smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke smoke that can be counterproductive”
— Eben Pagan▶ 1:34
When people repeatedly tell themselves to stop a behavior, their unconscious mind only hears the behavior itself, reinforcing it instead of eliminating it. The key is focusing on the positive alternative instead.
Does The Secret's approach to visualization actually work
“if you saw the movie The Secret right they talked about focus on what you want and then believe it and it will become more real in your life I'm not trying to get too woo-woo or new age on you here sometimes they get accused of that stuff a little bit and I really am not that much of a you know kind of one of those out there thinkers but there's a lot of value in this idea”
— Eben Pagan▶ 2:05
There's value in focusing on what you want rather than what you don't want. While not being 'woo-woo,' the principle that mental focus influences outcomes has practical applications based on how the unconscious mind works.
Summary
Understanding Your Motivational Pattern
Eben explains that people are motivated by both moving toward what they want and away from what they don't want, but most have an unconscious preference for one approach. He notes that negative motivation tends to be stronger because potential losses can be exponentially worse than equivalent gains.
How the Unconscious Mind Processes Focus
Drawing from neurolinguistic programming and hypnosis, Eben reveals that the unconscious mind cannot process negative commands. When you tell yourself to 'stop' doing something, your unconscious only hears the action itself, potentially reinforcing the unwanted behavior.
The Power of Positive Focus
Eben emphasizes that regardless of your motivational type, you must focus on desired outcomes rather than what to avoid. He references The Secret's approach while maintaining a practical perspective, explaining that mental focus directly influences what you're likely to create in reality.

Counterpoint
Claim: “You can motivate yourself by focusing on what you want to avoid or stop doing”
Reframe: The unconscious mind only processes positive commands, so you must focus on desired outcomes rather than what to avoid
Neurolinguistic programming and hypnosis research shows that when you say 'stop smoking' the unconscious mind only hears 'smoking' because it cannot interpret negative commands
Key Points 6
People are motivated by both moving away from what they don't want and moving toward what they want, but most are more motivated by one or the other unconsciously
Negative motivation tends to be stronger because negative outcomes can be much worse than positive ones
▶ 0:31The unconscious mind doesn't have a concept for the negative - only the conscious mind does
▶ 1:03When people repeatedly tell themselves to stop doing something, the unconscious mind only processes the action they want to stop
▶ 1:34Even if you're an 'away from' motivated person, you must start with the positive outcome you want
▶ 2:04Focusing on what you don't want makes you more likely to create it, while focusing on what you want makes you more likely to create that
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